rainy day

Today Teddy was the main attraction at a QUT midwifery class...I dropped in to chat about how my birth went. Everyone loved him! I am extremely passionate about a woman's right to birth her way under the care of midwives, with minimal intervention unless medically necessary.

On the drive home, the weather took a turn for the worse & so we are sitting in the car (while bubby sleeps) on the driveway waiting for the rain to stop. There are worse ways to spend an hour...

movement in a forward direction

So little Teddy has been dragging himself about commando-style for a few weeks now - today is coordinated those limbs to shunt forward on his hands and knees. Woohoo for crawling bubba!

I am so proud of him. Apart from congratulating him on his achievements, I honestly have not been encouraging this behaviour...I am extremely proud he has got there anyway. He now wants to move around whenever he can, including at nap time in his cot!

In a related and cute aside, forward motion has also meant Teddy can get to the person he wants most - me! Often playing with his toys, he'll turn and catch my eye. Giving me a huge grin, he'll about-face and with surprising speed suddenly be tugging at my dress to be picked up.

As soon as he has had his cuddle though, he is wriggling to be put down again. Eager to continue exploring!

that scent

Everyone knows babies smell amazing. I've always known this, but I believe that it isn't until you have one all of your own to smell that you truly 'get it'.

I remember my sister laughing to me about the day she cottoned onto what in particular she loved about her son's smell - he smelt like 'spit'! She giggled and said the spit smell of anyone else would be gross, but he was her baby and she adored his special scent.

Today, after Teddy woke from his nap I could not get enough. Never has inhaling been this good! That unique, warm, milky and slightly sweaty smell he exudes after a sleep just makes me want to snuggle him forever. I'm sure there is a scientific reason behind why we love the way babies smell, but reserve a special place for our own baby's scent. For once, I feel no need to find out how this science works...I am usually a person who enjoys knowing how things work. Not with this.

This time, I am just happy to sit back with my baby in my arms and breathe deep.

thankful

I dropped my husband at the airport again today, more emotional than usual (sleep deprivation...) & I realised I am incredibly thankful to this man. Thankful for the work he does that lets me stay at home with Teddy. Thankful for the sacrifice he makes 3/4 of the time so the 1/4 can be amazing.

Just plain thankful he is my husband & the father of my child.

silly mama

Babies are adorable when they are being cheeky. Fact. They are also adorable when they are being clever.

Yesterday afternoon I was preparing Teddy's dinner. Teddy was all set in his highchair, his Papy was sitting in front of him. They were giggling away, Papy singing silly tunes. I got Teddy's attention and did a silly dance to the silly tune.

The look Teddy gave me was one of complete bemusement. Without changing his expression, he turned toward his father to further demonstrate that he had not the foggiest what his mother had just been doing.

One knows that eventually your children will think you "uncool" and shoot you that look of complete "what-on-earth?". One does not think it will happen before the age of 7 months.

His father, of course, thought the entire situation hilarious. 

For the record...my silly dances usually elicit giggles and/or squeals of delight.

tough love

Little Teddy, oh how we've strayed...gone slowly from a stress-free routine where you slept most of the night away to waking twice or more again. You were growing so I fed you, I was tired so sometimes you came into my bed...now your little spurt is finished we are in a habit. I'm sorry I let this happen...now we have to move on.

Forward to a place of peaceful slumber for the two of us. It will involve tears...maybe from both of us...but I know we can do it. So tonight while I write this, you are going back to sleep following your second wake-up tonight.

Now we wait. Bon nuit.

last night

Little boy, you have been keeping Mama awake...last night, for the third time in your wee life you slept with Mammy. My hip and leg and arm went to sleep along with us, as you refused to stop nursing for the early hours of this morning.

Papy was kept from the snuggle party, lest he accidentally bump you in our slumber...my arm spent the night curled around you as we spooned. I admire those who can regularly co-sleep, I most certainly can not...your little noises keep me up.

I will treasure these rare occasions though, when through my exhaustion you come into my world for cuddles. Bubby snuggles are, after all, the best kind of snuggles!

holiday dreaming...

We are on a family holiday and you are spoilt with attention, little Teddy. Between Papy & Nana you are thriving, being fed a diet of cuddles & play.
Your Mama is spoilt too, having capable hands to take you - I haven't finished so many cups of coffee in a while!

Papy's home

We wait patiently at the window, T stretching forward to touch the screen...a taxi pulls up, and with a woop (from me!) T and I make our way quickly out the door and down the stairs. We pause on the driveway, waiting again for the fare to be paid.

Papy retrieves his bags...dumps them on the ground and leaps towards us. Teddy smiles from ear to ear and reaches for his father - Papy obliges and soon both are giggling together, thick.as thieves once more.

With baby in one arm and the other around his wife, kisses are exchanged...Papy is home!

Papy's ears

T is unashamedly adorable. I am not being biased - I have had many, many, many strangers comment. My family has good-looking babies. The middle years between childhood and adulthood not so flattering, but Teddy is not there yet and so he is adorable.

Yesterday during one of my regular how-did-you-get-so-cute gazing sessions, I noticed how much his ears are like his father's. They don't stick out, but rather have a floppy top bit that is quite sweet.

He doesn't know it yet, but he is a mash-up of his father (ears, forehead & hair) and me (eyes - not colour, his are blue like Papy - nose and lips...he has quite perfect lips...ok, now I'm biased!). I know there are awkward middle years to come, but honestly - right now we're sweet with what we've got, right Teddy?

a red bow

On a knob on his wardrobe T has a red ribbon with white dots on it, tied into a bow. For 6 months he has endeavored to bat it, grab it, pull it and yes - untie it! Last week, success was achieved and the ribbon floated to the floor.

His eyes shone.

Yesterday, I retied the bow. Today, he batted it. Tomorrow he will probably grab it.

Ahhh - the circle of life! I daresay it won't take another 6 months before the ribbon floats to the floor again...

breastfeeding

I love it. T loves it. I am grateful in a thousand ways for my ability to nourish my baby in this way. I am thankful for all the moments we have and all the good it is doing him.

Recently my sister lost her milk and for reasons beyond her control, was forced to wean her 3 month old. My heart broke for her as she grieved her and her little one's loss. Our hearts are now swelling as he thrives on his new milk, growing every day.

I understand that breastfeeding does not work out for everybody. I am sad for those women that have great difficulty. I am grateful (after a few false starts) that our special relationship came easily to T and I. I am thankful it continues into its seventh month and my original goal of breastfeeding for the first year of Teddy's life is effortless.

Today I spent a minute reflecting how beautiful it is to sit on my back steps, with my Teddy in my lap feeding. Smiling and chatting to me with a mouthful of nipple. His eyes gazing into mine, then flitting toward the trees - he loves watching the leaves move in the wind. I thought about how amazing and privileged I feel. I thought about all the pain I suffered in the early weeks and about how happy I am to have persevered to be rewarded with these moments now.

A little hand pulls my hair, drawing my attention back to where its owner prefers it...on him! He smiles up at me, then dramatically rolls away only to roll back a second later. He licks my nipple, then sucks it roughly back and continues to feed.

Yep, we love it.

the slap

Little T, I'm sorry. There - I said it. Many, many times. You understand and you forgive. I'm sorry for the sharp sting of my fingers on your perfect little bottom - I'm happy I hesitated and you didn't pause your wriggle to notice.

I'm sorry I thought a small sting would make you stop and take notice. Really, it would not have mattered one jot had poo got everywhere if you moved while getting a new nappy...I could (and would) have easily cleaned it up.

I like to think I will not contemplate stinging you on the bottom with a little slap again, but the truth is I may. You are a wild, at times stubborn, little boy and I am sure we have many years of testing patience to come. Maybe one day you will test me to a point where I give you a smack. Maybe it will be firm enough and you'll notice.

I hope not.

I like to think we will work together on a form of 'discipline' that satisfies us both...your desire to learn how to navigate our world and my desire to teach you how.

the art of flirtation

My son, the flirt. There is one waitress - a young girl not much older than 15 - to whom he has given his heart. He watches intently as she makes breakfast for customers, standing in my lap as I sneak mouthfuls of coffee behind him. She turns and giggles at him, embarrassed and pleased to be the object of his concentration. T sucks his fingers, smiling and cooing...blowing raspberries at her through dribble and hands.

"He's so adorable!" she repeats, giving in to his attention with smiles. Yes...that's my Teddy...ever the distraction. Remember this time when you are older, little T - when you feel awkward with the opposite sex. Remember that you were born a flirt!

just keep swimming

It was T's first swim - ever - today. My heart swells with pride at the thought...his excitement was evident as he leaned toward the pool...we'd arrived early so he could become accustomed to the sounds & smells of the new and foreign place. He played (read: chewed) with his favourite teether in my lap, slowly soaking up the atmosphere. Soon, a pool of dribble as big as that we were about to enter formed on my leg...he giggled as I tickled him, both eagerly awaiting our turn.

I had been anxious he would hate it. Scream nonstop the entire 30 minutes. I needn't have worried. Hairy moments were had as water splashed him, but he recovered quickly cradled in the arms he adores and with the woman who adores him back. We played together, I concentrated on the new techniques we were learning...T busying himself with chewing every prop we were given, his face crumpling when the moment came to part with his new plaything. I helped him sit on the edge, fall into my arms and climb out...we kicked and splashed and then the final game was played. It was time.

T ducked under the water for the first time in his short 6 months...(not including the odd face-plant in his bath, nor the time he slipped from Papy's sure hold) he spluttered and cried in fright, unsure of this new big bath. He settled quickly enough, grasping my shoulder and gripping my side with iron limbs.

As quickly as it had begun, the lesson was done. To be repeated next week, and the the next and so on for every week we are able. The structured learning of T's life has commenced. No doubt dance and language lessons and various sport will follow in good time. Saturdays will never be the same. Nor should they be...to be part of the magic of T's learning is worth every minute spent on the sidelines. And every minute spent in the thick of it with him is indeed, magic.