Monday 28 April 2014

the parent I want to be

At times today I was not the parent I aim to be. Toddlerhood is challenging in ways that surprise me on a hourly basis. Today Teddy took a short car nap, on a day I really really really needed a nap of my own. Alas, it was not to be and my darling son tested me as he is wont to do on these sleepless days.

At times today I rose past my fatigue and was exactly the type of parent I aim to be. I'm off to bed now, without an ounce of mummy-guilt to keep me awake tonight. I said things in a tone of voice today I am not proud of and made me cringe as I heard myself. In equal measure my son was my delight today and I was his. We played trains and trucks and visited friends and went to our favourite coffee haunt for a babycino. We did puzzles and read story after story after story, sometimes different stories, often the same one on repeat. We showered together, him cuddled against me with the water on his back and his cheek on my shoulder. He giggled at my frustration with his cheekiness and I found enough 'yes' in today to counteract the amount of 'no'.

So off to bed now, with hopes that tomorrow I sneak in a nap - goodnight all.

Much love
Audrey xox

Wednesday 23 April 2014

the outlet of, well, anything but a thesis...

So I have neglected this space for months and months and months now in the hopes of creating room in my life. Hmmm. While something had to give, I am not 100% that the decision to put a halt to my wee blog was the wisest one. So here we are, having come full circle I am back.

Much has happened in our world. Teddy is no longer so tiny and has turned 2. Not sure when my baby became my little boy, it has seemingly happened overnight and yet it feels that he has always been this capable and big and well, 'boy'-like! Come August he will graduate from only child to big brother, a change I am becoming less anxious about as each day passes and he seems to mature before our eyes.

I am getting fatter (ok, more pregnant looking...) by the day, waddling here and there. Trying to avoid straining an uncomfortable and unstable pelvis/lower back situation. Easy to do having been through one pregnancy, as I am more aware of the stress of certain movements. Less easy to do, as I run and jump and carry about a growing toddler!

I have become accustomed to the idea of not finishing my thesis before this baby is born, I have even applied for maternity leave. I was a bit sad (and horribly disappointed) to have my somewhat delusional bubble burst a week or so ago. Such is life. I will submit the 2 papers I need to and will complete the 3rd sometime after I return. This doctorate is, it seems, an on-going saga and I have accepted that it is my choice to have it be this way. I wouldn't have chosen to have Teddy years later nor delay this baby. The PhD will (hopefully) keep, my babies won't. They will grow and get capable of things I only dreamed about.

Besides, let's face it. I quite like mothering. I'm quite good at it, most of the time. I like learning about it and facing the new parenting questions that pop up as Ted-bear grows. I like learning about child development and different styles of education and the likes. It's fun.

So here we are. To this space, and to the creative outlet it lends me. Not sure what I will write about, but I imagine that as long as it has not much to do with the subject of my thesis or is academic in any sense this online outlet will be exactly that.

Much love
Audrey xox

Monday 7 April 2014

No longer a FIFO family!

I will keep this short and sweet - FIFO is no longer a part of our lives. I shan't miss it - as grateful as I am for the opportunities this lifestyle has afforded us.

Much love
Audrey xox