So I have neglected this space for months and months and months now in the hopes of creating room in my life. Hmmm. While something had to give, I am not 100% that the decision to put a halt to my wee blog was the wisest one. So here we are, having come full circle I am back.
Much has happened in our world. Teddy is no longer so tiny and has turned 2. Not sure when my baby became my little boy, it has seemingly happened overnight and yet it feels that he has always been this capable and big and well, 'boy'-like! Come August he will graduate from only child to big brother, a change I am becoming less anxious about as each day passes and he seems to mature before our eyes.
I am getting fatter (ok, more pregnant looking...) by the day, waddling here and there. Trying to avoid straining an uncomfortable and unstable pelvis/lower back situation. Easy to do having been through one pregnancy, as I am more aware of the stress of certain movements. Less easy to do, as I run and jump and carry about a growing toddler!
I have become accustomed to the idea of not finishing my thesis before this baby is born, I have even applied for maternity leave. I was a bit sad (and horribly disappointed) to have my somewhat delusional bubble burst a week or so ago. Such is life. I will submit the 2 papers I need to and will complete the 3rd sometime after I return. This doctorate is, it seems, an on-going saga and I have accepted that it is my choice to have it be this way. I wouldn't have chosen to have Teddy years later nor delay this baby. The PhD will (hopefully) keep, my babies won't. They will grow and get capable of things I only dreamed about.
Besides, let's face it. I quite like mothering. I'm quite good at it, most of the time. I like learning about it and facing the new parenting questions that pop up as Ted-bear grows. I like learning about child development and different styles of education and the likes. It's fun.
So here we are. To this space, and to the creative outlet it lends me. Not sure what I will write about, but I imagine that as long as it has not much to do with the subject of my thesis or is academic in any sense this online outlet will be exactly that.
Much love
Audrey xox
I for one am glad your back, and glad you shared your struggles with balancing thesis / life - I am not (yet) a mother (that's some time away for me) but I am also a PhD student. Self management is hard.... I, too, have spent most of this year neglecting my blog in the hope it would free me to dedicate more time to my research (biological sciences, specifically molecular genetics is my field) ... but ... it's not so much about devoting more time to one particular thing; but balancing it all... I could go on, but I won't here ...congratulations on your August baby - in my (biased) opinion August is a good month to be born ;-) Anway - I'm happy to see you back! I'm thinking I'll start up my creative outlet again too.. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteps. go gently on yourself! x
Hello! Thank you - I thought you had gone a little quiet too, I've been missing your photos and words. You are so right, it isn't time but rather balance. August will be interesting that is for sure, I feel as though everyone in my universe that is pregnant now is due then too - perhaps you will be sharing a birthday with a few dozen little ones :)
DeleteMuch love - Audrey xox