love note to the PhD gods

Dear PhD Gods

You probably don't know who I am, as I am one of those annoying doctoral students that got pregnant, took leave & is now pregnant again. My work won't win a Nobel Prize & it probably won't set the world of econometrics alight with an astounding discovery. It will be good & deserving & more than worthy of the degree. My PhD is an on-going saga & 98% of this spectacular exercise in drawing-the-pain-out is of my own doing. Got it. I own my decisions & I refuse to regret any of them.

I refuse to regret the teaching I did early on (loved it) & I certainly will never regret building a family (still loving it). I won't regret choosing to be a great Mama over study when work took my husband away for the better part of 2 years. Like I said, I own my part of this saga.

However. When delays happen that are just plain old bad luck, out of my control & just downright frustrating, I take issue. I am getting too old & cranky for silly computer malfunctions & delays. For things just not working because the universe, a.k.a. YOU, decide to backhand me on that particular day. So you know what?

Get used to me, PhD powers-that-be, I ain't going anywhere. You know why? According to The Thesis Whisperer, it is because I am resilient. I believe that this PhD is worth it, because quitting is not an option. So I won't. I will work at it for as long as I need to, to get it done. I am as persistent as my 2 year old on this one. You know, the 2 year old that will dig in his heels & scream blue murder at the prospect of leaving his friend's house. Well, when it comes to getting this degree, that's me. It is going to take me a while. I know. But I'll do it. So get used to me & stop dishing me up rubbish I don't have time for, I have enough on my plate.

Much love,
Audrey