nanny

Today is a day I will remember forever. You are 11 and a half months old. It is your first day without me, where someone other than your Papa or a Nana is caring for you. Today you are spending 7am until 12noon with your wonderfully spectacularly amazing nanny.

Monday was an adjustment day, where she spent our morning with us as we went about our usual routine. As it was Papa's last day before flying out that night, he & I sneak off for a coffee alone while you were sleeping. Tuesday we spent another day altogether, longer this time. I left you two alone for an hour so you could get to know each other without my interference. Teeny tiny Teddy, you are so grown up. You took to our wonderful Mary Poppins without skipping a beat. At the end of her day, about 20 minutes to go, you needed me. That was 1:20pm in the afternoon. She had been with us since 7am, you were worn out from all the fun!

Today you are alone together until 12noon. I am catching up on my blog (lest I forget anything by leaving it too long!) and going to the dentist. Running errands and getting ready to begin my real work next Monday. My PhD work.

I admit wholeheartedly to being apprehensive about this change. About leaving you with someone for 3 (half) days per week. I feel guilt about needing to finish my degree, about 'choosing' it over you. But I also will admit that this morning, as I kissed you goodbye and jumped in the car at 7:15am, I did not cry. I am not sad. You were busy playing, you have a whole morning of French immersion (we specifically chose a French native speaker) and I know you will be absolutely fine. Yes, I feel guilty about leaving. To be brutally honest though…next week I don't think I will. I am ok with needing to complete my study. It is for my and my family's benefit.

Am I a little sad you seem to have adjusted so well to my absence? Yes. And then I am proud. Proud you are such an independent and confident child who is so comfortable in your surroundings. I am looking forward to the hug you will give me when we reunite in an hour. Perhaps then I will cry...