hard

The fly-in-fly-out lifestyle is not for the faint hearted. Today was good & happy & lonely & sad all at once.

My husband & I had a small spat over Skype (he had just woken up grumpy, Teddy was the same so I was not in the mood for two grumps!)...these are interesting as it is the only time we talk so if it is unpleasant we tend to sit & scowl over the video feed rather than hang up. Inevitably one of us will text later to apologise...

But before our argument I had felt the absence of my love more keenly. Sundays will do that I suppose. More Papas about, families enjoying their weekend together. Once again I woke tired, Teddy teething means a night of naps...as I write he is struggling to get back to sleep. He only went to bed a couple of hours ago & thus I struggle to be optimistic about our prospects for a longer sleep tonight.

We went for a walk, played in the park, had coffee at Teddy's favourite cafe (he drank water & nibbled some gingerbread), went fruit shopping & had a wonderful meal at his grandparents house. All good & happy.

Tomorrow is a PhD day for me, five hours of productive study as the nanny plays with Teddy. Yep, tomorrow I will swallow the fog of exhaustion clouding my usually boundless happiness & work.

It isn't always sunshine & fun. Teddy's Papa is missing & it is hard. We have a goal & so I know it is worth the heartache now. Another week plus a bit & he will be back.

Lucky we aren't faint hearted!