finding the love

Oh little Ted, how you try me sometimes. Like at 3am when you have woken for the umpteenth time...like when it feels as though you have been nursing forever and that you will never be separate from me without screaming...

When I cry right along with you (and probably not helping your stress levels as mine rise...)...

Well. There was a moment...just a a teeny tiny moment...when I wished to pop you out in the snow... Of course, this was dismissed as quickly as the whim passed through my mind!

We got up this morning at 5:20am to start our day. To be honest I was thinking you would be getting us up at 4am so was as happy as a sleep deprived mama can be with nearly half five. I had not quite recovered my cheery self, not quite as loving as I would usually be. You know, when I hassle you for snuggles and cuddles and kisses despite your protests that playing with...well, anything...would be oh so much more fun than that.

Then it was just you and me in the kitchen and I picked you up to gently rock and shush you (actually, I was rocking and shushing myself - as you were perfectly happy and I was a bit teary...). You looked up at me and I was lost in your blue blue blue eyes.

Yep, you try me. Then you wow me. And tonight it won't matter how often or long you wake for. We will just be and I will be lost in your everything...