meandering: toddler style

Toddlers take a slow walk through the park to unbelievable lengths. They stop and marvel & in Ted's case, take off their sandals to brush off their feet & put their shoes back on again every 10 metres!

Most of the time we indulge this somewhat interesting (if not a little frustrating at times!) method of travelling from A to B & every single time we do I end up grinning from ear to ear at the sheer awesomeness of toddlerhood.

Of course, there are those times when leaving/going home is near impossible & inevitably ends in tears - as well as thrashing & yelling...but this is usually short lived & any injustic Ted feels at being hurried home from the park is immediately replaced by curiousity as he spots the cat/a trail of ants at the front door/his other pair of shoes...

Yep, toddlerhood. It is marvelous for them & us!

recently

So Papa has been home for the last fortnight and to put it simply…bliss. Here is a tiny snapshot of our life at the moment…

Market mornings - rapidly becoming a weekly ritual. The Brisbane markets on a Saturday is our haunt, as Papa fills up on Turkish bread covered in toppings and almond croissants; Teddy on strawberries and bananas; myself on the best coffee I've had in a while. We wander up and down the long, crowded rows of carts. Butchers and fishmongers shouting out specials and Teddy happily singing through a Teddy-sized apple. I search for the bread cart I like and stock up on our preferred brand of gluten-free/dairy-free bread. We rediscover the man with the massive jumbo eggs and buy 2 dozen. We weave through the people to look at the flowers…Teddy gets out of his stroller and toddles about merrily.

Walking - in the morning, after lunch or in the afternoon. If we are home together and it isn't raining, you'll find us wandering around our 'loop'…down the road, over the creek and around the fields. On our way we'll stop for a swing and a slide, for Teddy to pick up pebbles and wind his way through the grass…following any bird that happens to be hopping along the way.

Friends - we catch up for impromptu drinks at the neighbour's place. Teddy learns to bounce on the trampoline and holds his own playing soccer with the big kids (that is, he toddles after the swarm racing to the ball, quickly changing direction when they race past him…a little boy caught in the crowd!). He hovers at the food table, busily stuffing his cheeks with the corn chips and strawberries whilst I try to offer him apples and pears and steer him from any gluten-laden snacks!

Discovering new places - new parks, new playgrounds and new adventures. Sherwood Arboretum is an amazingly beautiful spot that I can't believe I hadn't known existed…what have I been doing this past year if not heading to every awesome park in the South East?!

DIY & Bunnings - Papa has the reno bug (it has only taken me 7 years to get him interested - now he is a DIY fiend!). He has been staining the new deck, putting in the lights here there and everywhere (as a sparky this is not DIY - if we can't have cool lights, who can?!) and painting the interior. I shortlisted a couple of 'big boy' room colours for Teddy's new bedroom that we are slowly turning into a toddler room for him over the next few months. Thinking a mint green with white trim…or a blue feature wall with off-white elsewhere…or perhaps neither…

I take advantage of Papa being home to relieve the nanny and do the pick-up from daycare by working longer days on campus and catching up on office happenings - I am so grateful for this opportunity as I hone my new, improved PhD plan; meet with my supervisor and grieve for the loss of a friend P's wife to cancer. This time to bury myself in work surrounded by those who are in pain for P along with me is comforting. We go to the funeral and the next day have many coffees as P returns to work. Although I had never met Mrs P, through P I feel as though I knew her - a magnificent woman loved by so many.

Papa leaves tomorrow afternoon for another 3 weeks and so these moments are treasured…he won't be back for more than a week until November. And then perhaps Christmas. Longer breaks are treasured and memories made. Tomorrow evening Teddy and I start our life anew as just the two of us…again. I struggle to feel sad, instead just happy and content with having Papa home for now.

snoozy snuggles

Teddy is taking this year's cold and flu season hard, as his immune system adjusts to spending more time away from home than ever before...being snotted on playing with all his new friends. He is tired by the afternoon, laying his head on my lap and wriggling to be picked up (this invariably involves putting his foot up on the couch and making a big show of attempting to get up, knowing I know he can do it himself...but still wanting a lift!).

He sits on my lap and impatiently waits for 'lolo'. Enthusiastically he snuggles in close, sucking with all the might he can muster. Within minutes his eyes are shut and his breathing has slowed. I settle back, closing my eyes as I drift off too. When I wake, he has unlatched himself and is breathing gently against my skin.  I panic, thinking it must be late (fifteen minutes has past, I have at least another twenty before I must rouse him).

And so we begin the end of another day. Another somewhat snotty but sunny and joy-filled day.

I like winter and its snuggles.

leaps & bounds

Teddy, you are astounding me with the sounds you are sounding, what you understand & what you can convey.
Last night we sang through your 'old McDonald had a farm' book, while you went through your 'baby touch' animal book & found each animal as I sang about it. At first I thought your page turning a coincidence, by the fourth animal I was convinced you are a genius hehehe
I love that you are learning so much every day, that you are doing it in two languages...I love that all your little friends are developing in leaps & bounds right along with you - although for some of them this means literal leaps and bounds as they find their feet!
I look forward to showing you this beautiful world we live in, & you showing me how you see it. Learn on little man, learn on.

high five & a pat on the back

You give me both & it makes my heart swell...

I heart you Teddy.

unplugged

I don't take my phone on our walks or when we duck to the park for a play.

I ignore the world. I spend my whole life attached to the landline or my mobile or skype or social media and so sometimes I just want to be with you, my tiny Teddy.

I breathe in the green that surrounds us and comment to you about how much I love our life. You chill out in your pram, or on my hip, leaning into the forward motion.

People stop to smile at you and you gaze at them, so chilled they don't trust me when I say you aren't grumpy or sleepy, just chilled out...

Those second...minutes...hours spent around our neighbourhood are some of the best I've ever had. So I ignore the rest of the world. In those moments there is just me and you and I am unplugged.

mud puddles & memories

This morning it rained. Quite a bit actually. Then the clouds cleared and the sun shone.

So we trotted off to the park, tiny Teddy balanced in your favourite spot - my hip - leaning forward in anticipation of the play. Friends surrounded us, bigger kids on bikes. You followed your hero, the 'big boy' with your eyes, drinking in everyone and everything.

Puddles, there were many. Memories? You made a few!

After watching the toddlers jumping in the mud puddles until covered in dirt from head to toe, you wriggle to be put down. Eagerly you crawl over, tentatively splashing at the shallow end. You slowly edge in, until you and two giggling girls are splashing happily. The girls wander off and you are left, still exploring the water - mud splattering your face, blinking rapidly as your eyelashes get wet!

After photos are taken on my fellow mama's phone (I go unplugged at the park...), I call you over to the water fountain and tap. You splash again in the dog bowl - this time with clear, clean water...I wash mud from you and strip you naked. We say our goodbyes and thank everyone for the fun.

Walking up the street, sans clothing - and nappy - once again on my hip, you lean forward in anticipation. Because for you, every minute is an adventure. Every second an opportunity for discovery. You inspire me to be joyful and delighted.

Puddles, there were many today. You needed just one to give me a few memories I will cherish wholeheartedly for a very, very long time to come.

jam-filled kisses & muddy knees

Happy Mother's Day to every mama - today is a day to be spoilt and be thankful for our loved ones...I hope you are having as much fun as I am!

Teddy has made me jammy (wildberry sandwich) and muddy (playground between showers) and I wouldn't have it any other way.

home

The best place ever...even better with Dadaa home.

Teddy has been hooning around the newly completed deck on his ride-on car...then getting nakey and 'checking it's all there' by doing a perfect downward facing dog!

Home. Bliss.

one

Last Wednesday, April 3rd to be exact you woke to your mama brightly singing 'Happy Birthday' as she opened your blinds and let the light stream in. 'How many are you?' she asks as you are placed on the change table for your new nappy. 'This many!' is her answer, proudly showing one finger to symbolise one.

It has taken me a week to work out how to say to you all the things I feel I want you to know as you turn one. This first year has been the most magnificent of learning curves for your Papa & I. I find it hard to imagine my life without you, I feel as though you have always been here with us. I struggle to picture our house without your squeals of delight and angry grizzles when something doesn't go your way. Your smile is quick and bright, your golden strawberry curls give me such joy and you make me swoon when your big baby blues turn my way as you attempt to flutter eyelashes so long they astound strangers in the street.

You are so pretty those same strangers still confirm you are indeed a boy, then exclaim your eyes confused them! It amuses me, as you are a boy in every sense of the word. On walks you must inspect every car that passes, we will deliberately get to our destination late just to follow the bus trundle along the road. You need to investigate anything and everything, spin it around in your hand and check to see if it makes a sound when you crash it into the ground or bang it on something. If a sound is made, it is repeated with gusto until something else catches your eye.

At one, you are a speedy crawler but not yet walking. Despite your first steps weeks ago, no attempt has since been made. I constantly marvel at your pace when you want something - your limbs become a blur. You are tall and slender with an appetite that shocks your grandparents as they watch you devour enough food for an army. At one, your best friend is the neighbour's cat Milly and your favourite past time is stalking through the backyard with her as I peg out the washing. You find it mildly offensive the pegs should be trapped in their container and aim to liberate them as often as possible. You can pick up any object no matter how small, and recently added picking up a second or third object with the one hand to your repertoire. You call me Mum-mum & your father Daada and if I check your nappy you will say 'caca' if you have indeed left me a surprise.

At one, I am your favourite person to snuggle and you love your Papa taking you on adventures downstairs. Getting out and about in the car or stroller makes you happy and we have begun frequenting the local playgrounds. You love having a piece of toast in our favourite cafes while I have my coffee - you are my preferred breakfast or lunch date. You make me laugh out loud several times a day as you crack jokes and play games.

At one, we are starting to wean slowly and gently although you are yet to turn down the breast if offered. I suspect we will enjoy our little feeds for a while yet! You are a random sleeper during the night, sometimes making it through and other times not even close.

Perhaps what I want you to know the most though, is that - at one - you are our joy. Thank you for you.

 

drop off, coffee time & groceries...

It has been a busy busy morning - hubby headed back to NT this morning. Up early and eating toast together for the final time for another while...I struggle to feel too sad this morning, as the weather is lovely and we have had such an amazing Easter together. Our little family, walks in the morning...lazy breakfasts...socializing with friends and family...walks in the evening...a glass of wine and chat with my husband after Teddy heads to his bed. Heaven.

On our way back from the airport Teddy snoozed, lulled to sleep by Chopin playing on our favourite radio station. We stopped by our cafe for a quick piece of fruit toast and a coffee, on our way to do the groceries. Our trip involved the butcher, the fruit & veg market, fishmonger and lastly the supermarket. Phew! Teddy busied himself with mischief, showing the lap belt on the trolley was no obstacle to standing up. Luckily he also loves sucking on a baby food pouch otherwise I may have had to lug a wriggly worm about on my hip the whole time!

Once home we unpacked our parcels and Teddy rolled oranges around the bench. We pegged washing on the line, Teddy petting the cat and stalking about the lawn with her. Finally, he is napping and I am catching up on some emails...and thinking about how lucky I am to have such an awesome little almost-one-year-old and gorgeous husband.

Life is good.

little pleasures

Infinitely grateful today that my favourite pastime - lunch & coffee out with family - is exactly what Teddy enjoys doing too. My nearly-one-year-old could sit happy as a clam in his highchair for over an hour, chatting away whilst people watching & munching on a snack.

Teddy, you are my go-to coffee date. I heart you.

nanny

Today is a day I will remember forever. You are 11 and a half months old. It is your first day without me, where someone other than your Papa or a Nana is caring for you. Today you are spending 7am until 12noon with your wonderfully spectacularly amazing nanny.

Monday was an adjustment day, where she spent our morning with us as we went about our usual routine. As it was Papa's last day before flying out that night, he & I sneak off for a coffee alone while you were sleeping. Tuesday we spent another day altogether, longer this time. I left you two alone for an hour so you could get to know each other without my interference. Teeny tiny Teddy, you are so grown up. You took to our wonderful Mary Poppins without skipping a beat. At the end of her day, about 20 minutes to go, you needed me. That was 1:20pm in the afternoon. She had been with us since 7am, you were worn out from all the fun!

Today you are alone together until 12noon. I am catching up on my blog (lest I forget anything by leaving it too long!) and going to the dentist. Running errands and getting ready to begin my real work next Monday. My PhD work.

I admit wholeheartedly to being apprehensive about this change. About leaving you with someone for 3 (half) days per week. I feel guilt about needing to finish my degree, about 'choosing' it over you. But I also will admit that this morning, as I kissed you goodbye and jumped in the car at 7:15am, I did not cry. I am not sad. You were busy playing, you have a whole morning of French immersion (we specifically chose a French native speaker) and I know you will be absolutely fine. Yes, I feel guilty about leaving. To be brutally honest though…next week I don't think I will. I am ok with needing to complete my study. It is for my and my family's benefit.

Am I a little sad you seem to have adjusted so well to my absence? Yes. And then I am proud. Proud you are such an independent and confident child who is so comfortable in your surroundings. I am looking forward to the hug you will give me when we reunite in an hour. Perhaps then I will cry...

snotty snuggles

Aunty's 50th birthday was this weekend, so she and my cousin Willz were heading down to London to stay with my other cousin. We were staying behind, looking forward to some time to ourselves and honestly with the popularity of Teddy, our own busy social calendar!  Alas, by Friday afternoon we were ill.

Saturday night Teddy woke every hour to feed and cuddle, before slipping back into a restless slumber. Sunday morning began earlier than usual for us, him waking beside me after eventually being brought into my bed at some stage the night before. His snotty little nose happiest spreading snot over my shoulder or chest, depending on where he was snuggling his head at the time…

By Sunday afternoon, he was well on his way to recovery while my head cold took a turn for the worse (typically!) - although I am extremely grateful that this has been my first and only proper illness since the beginning of my pregnancy. Breastfeeding I believe, has shielded both of us in some mystical, wonderful and simply breathtaking way. This is based on my own experience and in no way is a scientific observation!

He stays a wee bit snotty for the next day or so. We treasure our snotty snuggles as he buries his head into my shoulder…I take comfort in his need to stay close, even though he feels better.

It is so lovely to be so loved by someone so small!

early morning snuggles

We are home and settled back into our wee corner of the world. I have been lazy with this space of late, living (and sleeping) and getting back to normality. I intend to continue my posting as if I never stopped though…continuing from my last Scottish tidbit onto the next...

The mornings are dark and chilly. Teddy sleeps less well here in general than at home, however he has settled now into a somewhat similar pattern. Our mornings begin early, I skip (trudge) up the stairs at 5-something (this is the third maybe fourth - second if it was a great night! - time I have done this since putting him in his bed last night) and greet a crying little boy, standing in his cot.

By the time he is out of his sleeping bag, in my arms then out of the room he is calm and excited to start our day. Our first ritual is to tumble into my sofa bed in the lounge room, to snuggle while Teddy has his morning feed. I leave the lights off, eternally hopeful that this will encourage a little more sleep. Rarely it does, Teddy enjoys his milk whilst wriggling into a number of awkward positions. But no matter. It is this time of the morning, these few minutes, where the chilliness and the dark are lovely.

A little boy pulls off and grins at me in the dark. He starts babbling, presumably listing off all the things he will do today. I get up, turn on a lamp & BBC World News (his favourite!) - Teddy settles down to get a new nappy and some warm clothes over his pyjamas. Eventually we will head into the kitchen, for his 'toastie fingers' and my coffee.

The mornings really are chilly…and dark…and early...

But they are lovely.

tiny Teddy dancer

We are into music, you & I. The radio is on (loving BBC radio) whenever we are in the kitchen, which is most of the day.

We are into dancing, you & I. I hold you, you cuddle me with one arm, swing your head back and laugh.

We bop to pop, bounce to hip-hop, head bang to rock and waltz to classical.

Today we danced to 'more than a woman' by the Bee Gees...and I cemented with you a wonderful tradition your Narna and I share. We dance together to the Bee Gees.

At the moment little Teddy, we are into dancing - and I am so grateful we had a chance to continue a tradition both hilarious and somewhat daggy today.

over & under

Life is a playground when you are 10 months old & adventurous...

My Aunty has a gorgeously rustic dining room suite. The big wooden country-style table is completed by wooden chairs with leather seats. The chair legs are joined by a frame.

The dining room is Teddy's playground...under the table & through the chairs is his favourite place to be. It is the perfect obstacle course...over the frame, under the table.

Bliss.

finding the love

Oh little Ted, how you try me sometimes. Like at 3am when you have woken for the umpteenth time...like when it feels as though you have been nursing forever and that you will never be separate from me without screaming...

When I cry right along with you (and probably not helping your stress levels as mine rise...)...

Well. There was a moment...just a a teeny tiny moment...when I wished to pop you out in the snow... Of course, this was dismissed as quickly as the whim passed through my mind!

We got up this morning at 5:20am to start our day. To be honest I was thinking you would be getting us up at 4am so was as happy as a sleep deprived mama can be with nearly half five. I had not quite recovered my cheery self, not quite as loving as I would usually be. You know, when I hassle you for snuggles and cuddles and kisses despite your protests that playing with...well, anything...would be oh so much more fun than that.

Then it was just you and me in the kitchen and I picked you up to gently rock and shush you (actually, I was rocking and shushing myself - as you were perfectly happy and I was a bit teary...). You looked up at me and I was lost in your blue blue blue eyes.

Yep, you try me. Then you wow me. And tonight it won't matter how often or long you wake for. We will just be and I will be lost in your everything...

growing

Little Teddy bear, you are so big now. I am looking into posting a package home of all the things you have grown out of since we have been here. This was not poor planning on my part...rather it is an example of how quickly you shoot skywards...it really has happened overnight.

You are talking (your own special language, but talking nonetheless)...you are crawling so fast I struggle to keep up sometimes...you are standing against everything and anything that will take your weight - and some things that don't...you are exerting a personality so strong it makes me glad and proud and a little anxious all at once...

You are growing...in every way all the time. I am so so so lucky to witness it.

little love

Snuggled against me, eyes trying in vain to stay open. We sit under the duvet - Teddy gently feeding, still sleepy from his morning nap.

Nothing quite like the warmth of a little one straight from bed...