home, where you leave your heart

This past week Daddy has been home and we have spent the short, wintery days holed up in family bliss.

This past week I *accidentally* referred to site as hubby's 'home' and used the phrase 'when you come to stay...'. HA! Come to stay - in his own house! Hilarious!

In my defense, I feel like we are on holidays when he is home. Then he goes and Teddy and I begin 'real life' anew. Then he returns a few weeks later and boo-yah, holidays again!

Begs the question though...where is home? Well, for me, home is where my wee family is. This means for 3/4 of the time, part of my home is out west...because half my heart is.

Do you consider home to be where your loved ones are or does a particular place resonate with your soul?

positive

Positive. That is the word of the month in our house. There has been too much of the opposite going on at our place lately - we've been too tired, too cranky and generally just too not-positive! So we have decided to make a change and that change is a new (well, old) outlook. Recapture the joy.

So. To aid in recapturing the joy, we have made a very big leap into our future and have really begun thinking of adding to our family. Having opened the topic for discussion, we are finding it hard not to grin at each other constantly. Positive. Finally, after all the squabbling over this-that-and-the-other, we are doing what is right.

Positivity...very cool.

hard

The fly-in-fly-out lifestyle is not for the faint hearted. Today was good & happy & lonely & sad all at once.

My husband & I had a small spat over Skype (he had just woken up grumpy, Teddy was the same so I was not in the mood for two grumps!)...these are interesting as it is the only time we talk so if it is unpleasant we tend to sit & scowl over the video feed rather than hang up. Inevitably one of us will text later to apologise...

But before our argument I had felt the absence of my love more keenly. Sundays will do that I suppose. More Papas about, families enjoying their weekend together. Once again I woke tired, Teddy teething means a night of naps...as I write he is struggling to get back to sleep. He only went to bed a couple of hours ago & thus I struggle to be optimistic about our prospects for a longer sleep tonight.

We went for a walk, played in the park, had coffee at Teddy's favourite cafe (he drank water & nibbled some gingerbread), went fruit shopping & had a wonderful meal at his grandparents house. All good & happy.

Tomorrow is a PhD day for me, five hours of productive study as the nanny plays with Teddy. Yep, tomorrow I will swallow the fog of exhaustion clouding my usually boundless happiness & work.

It isn't always sunshine & fun. Teddy's Papa is missing & it is hard. We have a goal & so I know it is worth the heartache now. Another week plus a bit & he will be back.

Lucky we aren't faint hearted!

lonely

This afternoon was the hardest of the four week cycle - it was 'Papy leaving day'. For the fifth time, off he went for another three weeks.

The house is always lonely on these particular Sunday afternoons. It is now a much better looking lonely house, on account of the smashing new kitchen. But that is beside the point...

We often escape to the bustle of a cafe or a neighbour's to break up the emptiness. Today we did the latter briefly, but chose also to withdraw into our own little haven...mixing napping with feeding with playing with watching cricket on telly.

Yes, it is lonely. But tiny Teddy & I have each other. And Papy is only a phone call away.